1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,240 Thick pea soup, spreadable turkey paste, 2 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:06,760 one tin of corned beef, two cubes of meat broth, 3 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:09,280 five boiled sweets, one... 4 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,920 Ooh, actually, have we got any boiled sweets? 5 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,760 I think I'm craving pear drops. 6 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,760 You're joking? I only just got back 7 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,720 from getting you that watermelon. 8 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,600 I thought I fancied it. What do you want? 9 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,240 A square of chocolate, four dry biscuits... 10 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:24,760 ..and a packet of oatmeal. 11 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,480 It's a ration pack. It's always a ration pack. 12 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:30,000 Well, it would keep you going for 24 hours, 13 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,800 more if you ration it. 14 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,520 You'd ration a ration pack? Yeah. 15 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,960 I'm so bored of Food Club. 16 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,400 It's always the same - egg atop a cutlet. 17 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:40,760 Bum and chips. 18 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:42,600 Ooh. Liquid lunch. 19 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,520 Heyyy! 20 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,360 Go on, then. How much was a pint in your day? 21 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,360 Oh, for the plebs - £1.90. 22 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,400 Commons members' bar - 87 pence, sir. 23 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,840 What? Oh, God, I like the sound of that members' bar. 24 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,840 Yeah, you should do. You paid for it. 25 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,920 Sorry, are we still playing Food Club, 26 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,720 or shall I just whip out the Cock Soc? 27 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,560 Oh, Cocktail Society! 28 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,920 - No, no, no, no. - Not that again. 29 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:12,440 How about a nice round of Grandmother Went To The Shop? 30 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,040 Boring! 31 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,040 This not boring. 32 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,320 First 8,000 years were boring. 33 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,200 He's right. Yeah. 34 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,840 It's going to be a very long eternity 35 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,240 if we're already bored of everything. 36 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,920 Oh, what are we going to do? 37 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,760 Bored of everything! Ah! 38 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,920 Guys, it's fine. 39 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:37,040 We just need to think of some fun new pastimes 40 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,720 to while away the... 41 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,160 Oh, I've got one. 42 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,600 You commit a murder. 43 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,280 Happens. 44 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,400 The judge throws the book at you. 45 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,160 A life sentence? Death sentence. 46 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,360 The gallows await. 47 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:54,200 What... 48 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,920 ..would be your last meal? 49 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,640 Well, that's just Food Club! 50 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,520 Je voudrais un cafe noir, s'il vous plait. 51 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,520 Et un croissant pour ma soeur. 52 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,840 OK. For the last time, you don't need to learn French. 53 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,240 She's bringing an interpreter. 54 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,960 Yeah, but she'll like that I've made an effort. 55 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,640 She'll think it's... ..trezz bien. 56 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:40,760 All right, listen to me. 57 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,960 The only reason they'd send the head of the company, 58 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,840 the big cheese... Grand fromage. Stop it! 59 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,120 ...is so that she can sign off on the plot, which means 60 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,280 that this golf course deal is in the bag. 61 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,880 As long as we don't come across as insane. 62 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,280 OK? So there's no need for grand gestures 63 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,600 or the hard sell or to speak French. 64 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,360 We just need to seem like nice, normal people 65 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,120 you want to do business with. 66 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,600 Oh, speaking of business... 67 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,200 No. No, no. Hear me out. 68 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,280 So if this land deal goes through... 69 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,360 Mm. 70 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,120 ..then we get some money. That's it. 71 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,920 It's a one-time thing. But... 72 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:15,360 ..what if there was a way to keep some incoming income... 73 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:16,640 ..coming in? 74 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,160 Yeah! Now you're interested. I'm not. I'm absolutely not. 75 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,880 It was something you said, actually. 76 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,200 Well, you said Julian said. 77 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,320 A members' bar. Hmm? 78 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,920 Look, with the gatehouse gone, 79 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,680 we've got the old breakfast room and office doing nothing, 80 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,600 so why not lease it to the golf club 81 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,800 as a members' bar, which we run? 82 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,680 Then the income from that pays for us to live 83 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,840 in the rest of the house. 84 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,320 OK. That is actually not a bad idea. 85 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:39,560 Right? It's a win-win. 86 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,240 But now is not the time to be throwing in curveballs. 87 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,360 OK? We just need to get the deal on the table 88 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:45,720 signed and sealed, 89 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,160 and then we can talk about this bar idea tomorrow. 90 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:49,320 But she's coming today, 91 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,080 and this might be my last chance to pitch this tete-a-tete. 92 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,000 Please. Please, I am begging you 93 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,600 as your loving, full-of-baby wife, 94 00:03:56,600 --> 00:04:00,320 no curveballs, no French, no pitching mad ideas. 95 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,040 Not today. OK? 96 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,480 Je ne comprends pas. 97 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,280 Oy. 98 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:11,040 Je n'aime pas la musique moderne. 99 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,240 Ou habites-tu, mademoiselle? 100 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,920 Well, we could at least try it. 101 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,520 We talked about this. 102 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,240 Sitting in silence is not a pastime. 103 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,640 Ou est la gare, s'il vous plait? 104 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,840 Je pense que la gare principale est proche d'ici, 105 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,360 dans le village a cote, je crois, 106 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,040 mais tu devrais demander a ta femme. 107 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,920 What? 108 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,120 You speak French. 109 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,400 Bah, oui, je me defends. 110 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,960 So I said to him, 111 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:48,920 "Give me one good reason why I should not run you through." 112 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,120 To which he replied, 113 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,200 "I shall give you two! 114 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:57,280 "One, because I know you to be a patient man. 115 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:59,240 "And as for the second... 116 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,120 .."I shall tell you tomorrow." 117 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,160 Onward, Rohr. 118 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,800 Ever onward! 119 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,240 Will... 120 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,720 Bone Hall. Quoi? 121 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,720 Too grand to sit idle. 122 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,640 24 rooms. 400 acres. 123 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,960 A home befitting the bloodline. Ha! 124 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:13,080 My gift to the bride and groom. What say you? 125 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:27,480 She said it looks so perfect she could not wait to explore. 126 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,480 Ha! You hear that, Humphrey? 127 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,880 Je n'aime pas ca ici. 128 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,320 Je ferai retraite a ma chambre a la maison. 129 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,760 Je ne veux pas rester ici. 130 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:41,800 What'd you say? 131 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,120 I said, "You're a dark horse." 132 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,360 Un noir cheval. 133 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:47,400 Oh! 134 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,440 Un cheval sombre. 135 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:50,600 Yeah. 136 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,880 Hey! You speak your second language better than your first. 137 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,760 I had a good teacher. 138 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,160 Right, where were we? 139 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,160 Staring into the abyss of eternity. 140 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,720 Is there a way to watch This Morning from the very beginning? 141 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,480 The abyss deepens. 142 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,680 No, it should be something active, 143 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:12,800 some sort of game. 144 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,400 Or we could put on a show. 145 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,840 There are shows on television. 146 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,160 No, it should be a game. 147 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,120 No, let's put on a show. Television. 148 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,640 Game. Show. 149 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:21,680 Television! Game. 150 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,080 Show. Television. 151 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,160 Game. Show. 152 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,560 Television. Game! 153 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,400 Show! 154 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,840 ..et une si belle campagne. 155 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,960 And a very, very beautiful countryside. 156 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,520 Oh, yeah. Well, we're very lucky. 157 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,080 Yes, we have lots of luck. 158 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,920 Oh, this is my husband, Mike. 159 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,360 And this is my husband, Mike. 160 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,280 Mike. Sabine. Hello. Hi. 161 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:40,520 Good morning. 162 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,000 Good morning. Good morning. Hello. 163 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,080 Good morning. Hello. 164 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,000 Oh, and hello to you. 165 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,600 And hello to you. Eh? 166 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,640 No, that was... That was for you. 167 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,080 No, no, it was for you. Yes hello? 168 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,240 Yes, hello. No, for you, that one. 169 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,080 Okay. So shall we go and see this golf course, then? 170 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,520 Shall we watch the golf course? 171 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:57,840 Oh yes. 172 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,920 Can I leave that there? 173 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,280 So, first you have to... 174 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,200 Why are you being so weird? I'm not being weird. 175 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,160 He's being weird. He repeats everything. 176 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,040 That's his job. And can you stop speaking French? 177 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,000 Why? Because that's also his job. 178 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,240 And you promised. 179 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,480 No, I didn't. Well, promise now. 180 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,520 What's in the bag? Promise and I'll tell you. 181 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,680 Tell me and I'll promise. Don't you play that game with me. 182 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:18,840 Well, just show me that... 183 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,440 Are we...? Yeah. Yeah. Coming. 184 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,000 Yeah, yeah, of course. 185 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,360 Bizarre. 186 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,680 Blankety blank 187 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:33,800 188 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,520 Blankety blank! 189 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:36,760 190 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,640 And joining us on the panel tonight... 191 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:39,600 192 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,880 Stephanie Button, Katherine Higham, 193 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,320 Humphrey Bowen, 194 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,840 Thomas Thorne, 195 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:46,920 Robin...Robin 196 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,600 and the rest of Humphrey Bowen. 197 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,880 198 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,080 Hello and welcome to Blank Or Blanks. 199 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,000 Blankety Blank! Boom-boom. 200 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,240 Robin! No. Yeah. 201 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,040 A missing-word game, apparently, 202 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,320 requiring of two antagonists 203 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,240 who will now identify themselves. 204 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,120 Patrick, your name and rank, please. 205 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,400 Hello. I'm Pat Butcher, originally from Huddersfield, 206 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,760 and in my spare time I lead an adventure youth group. 207 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,440 Very good. And Pat's enemy tonight is... 208 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,440 Julian Fawcett, 209 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,040 former politician , 210 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,440 and in my spare time 211 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,240 I like wine, women and song. 212 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,760 Although I'm not so bothered about the song. 213 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,360 Very good. Very good. 214 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,560 On to round one. 215 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:37,240 No-one was harmed during the training exercise 216 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:42,320 because the Lee-Enfield rifles were all loaded with... 217 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,760 ..blanks. 218 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,800 Right... No. 219 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,040 No? No. 220 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,840 The missing word can't actually be the word blank. 221 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,480 You say, "blank", to show where the missing word is 222 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,680 and then we have to guess what it might be. 223 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,520 And perhaps, you know, 224 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,600 make the questions a little bit more fun, 225 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,200 you know, and maybe a bit saucy. 226 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,400 Oh, yeah. 227 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:05,880 Saucy? Yeah. 228 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,200 You know, like... 229 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:10,160 Aunt Jenny's cakes were the pride of the county. 230 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,120 Everyone loved her floury baps. 231 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:16,520 But the stars of the show were her cream-covered blanks. 232 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,760 Oh, good one, Pat. No! No, no, no. I mean, that's just bordering... 233 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,400 No, no. I will not debase myself with cheap double entendre. 234 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,120 Fanny. Come on, Fanny. 235 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,880 Come on. 236 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,120 Hey, I know. 237 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,840 How about a bit of Bully? 238 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,720 Is that a sentence? 239 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,440 A bit of Bullseye. 240 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,760 It's like a TV quiz show with darts. 241 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,640 I used to love it back in the day. 242 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,600 I'm a big fan of the arrows. 243 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,480 This was before. 244 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,000 No, it wouldn't work. How do we pick up the darts? 245 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,960 Oh, let's hear your idea, then. 246 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,240 Or are we just going to spend eternity 247 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:49,600 twiddling our thumbs? 248 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,240 Oh! What was the one we saw where you got points 249 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,720 for getting less points? 250 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,560 I think it was called Less Points. 251 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,800 No, you need points or what's the point? 252 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,800 If I'm playing, I want the best answer on the board. 253 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,280 Oh! I know what we could try. 254 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:06,160 It was her, wasn't it? 255 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,360 Eh? Your French teacher. 256 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:10,040 It was my wife. 257 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,720 What if it was? 258 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:14,680 Knew it. How long was this going on, eh? 259 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:16,720 Don't know. How long you live at the house? 260 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,160 All that time? 261 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,920 Did you ever think how that would make me feel? 262 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:22,960 No. 263 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,080 Unbelievable! 264 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,000 I can't even look at you right now. 265 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,560 Ah. Afternoon. 266 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,920 I wonder if I might have a word with my wife, please. 267 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,640 Of course, my lord. 268 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,760 Depuis quand est-ce qu'il m'ecoute? 269 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,760 Oui? Ah, Sophie. My... Hello. 270 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,400 My father is having a banquet. 271 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,000 Well, not a banquet as such, 272 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,680 but a...a social thing that's important 273 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,200 for his standing in the... Pardon? 274 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,600 Well, for his standing. 275 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,080 And he's asked if we could be there, 276 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,520 you know, show our faces. 277 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,320 Lentement. 278 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,080 So I was thinking downstairs at three. 279 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,320 It should be fun. Well, it might be. 280 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:35,080 Well, not fun as such, but certainly...bearable. 281 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,840 I believe there'll be drinks and nibbles. 282 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,200 Homme. 283 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,560 Homme. 284 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,000 Homme. Ah. 285 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,680 Et la frontiere, elle est juste derriere cette haie? 286 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,720 And the border is just beyond the hedge, yes? 287 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,560 Yeah, that's where our land joins with our neighbour's, 288 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,360 who I believe you've met? Mr Beg-Chetwynde? 289 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,560 Oui, Monsieur Beg-Chetwynde. 290 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,080 Oh, yes, Mr Beg-Chetwynde. 291 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,920 Yeah... Oui, oui. 292 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,120 Oui. Yes. 293 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:23,920 Yeah. Oui. 294 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,360 Oui? Yes? 295 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,240 Yes. Oui. 296 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,840 Act normal. Stop saying yes. 297 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,400 Tell him to stop saying yes. 298 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,880 Je trouve ca bizarre. 299 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,040 This would be a lot easier if he wasn't here. 300 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:35,560 Peut-etre c'est normal ici. 301 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:41,680 Oui, it's a good - bien - space - espace. 302 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,880 But perhaps a long journee from le clubhouse... 303 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,600 Right, I can't concentrate if you're going to keep... 304 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,680 Don't tell her that. Stop it. 305 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:52,840 Stop it. Mike! 306 00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:00,440 You'd be a long way from refreshments out here. 307 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,200 Vous serez loin des "refreshments"... 308 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,400 Ah! Which is why... 309 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,240 Which is why any decent golfer learns to think ahead. 310 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,760 C'est pourquoi un bon golfeur y reflechit en avance. 311 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,840 And what finer spot for a nice cup... 312 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,680 ..of English tea? 313 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,120 C'est un bon endroit pour boire une tasse de the a l'anglaise. 314 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,160 Ah, du the. Parfait. Please, allow me. 315 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,360 For you. 316 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,680 And there you go. 317 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:24,840 Got to keep hydrated. 318 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,600 All that talking. 319 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:30,360 There we go. 320 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,000 OK. Round two, then. 321 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,160 Fingers on buzzers. 322 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:40,480 We asked three and a bit people 323 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,760 to name something that could kill you. 324 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,440 Your secretary. 325 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,320 Sorry, Julian. You have to buzz before you... 326 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,080 Your secretary? How would your secretary kill...? 327 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:51,880 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 328 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,040 Oh, yeah! 329 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:56,040 I'm sorry, Julian. You have to buzz first. OK? 330 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,280 So, Kitty, could you please name something 331 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,000 that might kill you? 332 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,840 A cloud. Right. 333 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,120 Would a cloud kill you? 334 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,320 Yes, if you fell from it. 335 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,400 Right. Just, you know, 336 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,840 maybe thinking for a moment about people you know. 337 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:12,600 And are there any other causes of death 338 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,320 that might be more likely to be on the board? 339 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,280 Yes. Sorry. How silly of me. 340 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,840 Kicked by a horse. 341 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,440 Kicked by a horse. OK. Yeah. 342 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,600 Kitty's saying, "Kicked by a horse." 343 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,720 And our survey says... 344 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,440 No! Nuh, nah! 345 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:29,920 I'm sorry, Kitty. It's not up there. 346 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,880 But that's what killed my cousin. 347 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,160 That's a fact. 348 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:36,080 That's as may be, but that's not what the rules of the game are. 349 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,640 Well, then it's a stupid game, and I'm not playing. 350 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,160 Oh, well, then we're back to square one. 351 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,440 Unless... 352 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,560 Facts. 353 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,600 Cold, hard facts. 354 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,720 More tea? 355 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:51,920 Encore de the? 356 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,200 Non, merci. 357 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,320 And would your interpreter like more tea? 358 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,840 Um... Yeah. Rude not to. 359 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,160 Very British. 360 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:04,640 Oh. Mm. 361 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,200 Yes. Yes. 362 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,680 Alors... C'est tout. Oui, oui, oui. 363 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,360 And your chosen specialist subject is? 364 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,560 Allied tanks and amphibious landing craft, 365 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:17,640 1939 to 1945. 366 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,000 Well, this isn't going to work, is it? 367 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,280 What? Don't know anything about that. 368 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:23,680 Well, you lot wanted something more factual. 369 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,920 Well, I could provide some questions. 370 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,560 I know a fair deal about the subject. 371 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,480 Well, that completely defeats the object. 372 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,560 Clearly, the issue here is the topic. 373 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,800 We need something more widely known. 374 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,800 A subject seared into the popular imagination. 375 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,400 Name? 376 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,760 Thomas Angus Thorne. 377 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,040 And your chosen specialist subject is? 378 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,160 18th-century Romantic poets. 379 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,040 Oh, come off it! 380 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:53,560 It wasn't, um, you know, with Sophie. 381 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,840 I know. It's just... 382 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,040 20 years of marriage, we barely shared a meal, 383 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,880 while you two were BFFs. 384 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,320 Booffs? 385 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,400 Best friends forever. 386 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,200 Not forever. 387 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,680 I did try, you know, 388 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,440 in my marriage. 389 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,560 Tu parles... 390 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,120 ..mais tu n'ecoutes pas. 391 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,720 What? 392 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,240 You talk, you not listen. 393 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,520 Oh, so now you're a better listener than me, huh? 394 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:20,760 I could only listen. 395 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,360 I was dead. 396 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,520 Just wanted to say how very sorry 397 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,960 I and indeed the entire household was...were 398 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,800 to hear of the passing of your dear and devoted nursemaid 399 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,720 after all this time... Oh. 400 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,160 Yeah. So you've seen everything. 401 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,960 That brings us back to the... 402 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,040 Oh! Back door's open. 403 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,920 It's probably easier to just cut through. 404 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,560 Hmm. Look at this! 405 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,040 Wow. 406 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,880 What's in...here? 407 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,040 Oh, look. 408 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,960 Le cocktails. 409 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,800 Why not? Parfait spot for it. Hmm? 410 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:16,360 Les cocktails. C'est l'endroit parfait, non? 411 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,480 Um... You all right, Garion? 412 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,000 Um... 413 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,120 It must be all the tea, huh? 414 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,960 Oh. 415 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,640 Oh. No worries. 416 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,040 We'll show you to the toilet. Yeah. 417 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,120 Yeah. OK, fine. Yeah. This way. 418 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:51,480 Now, Sabine, while we have une moment... 419 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,120 Merci. 420 00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:58,960 ...allow me to introdu-ire you to a petite idea of moi. 421 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:26,240 "Si notre vie est moins qu'une journee." 422 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,840 Well, go! 423 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,280 Harder! 424 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,240 I might say I did that. I would. 425 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,440 Hmm. 426 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,400 See, this is why I won't have swords in the house. 427 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,480 Yeah... 428 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,360 Bad day? 429 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,000 Do you miss her? 430 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,600 I miss a lot of people. 431 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,520 But more come along. 432 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,720 I am also nodding. 433 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,680 Oh. 434 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,520 Would you teach me a bit of French? 435 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,280 I mean, I picked up a little, but... 436 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,640 Would you listen? 437 00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:58,960 I'll try. 438 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,040 OK. 439 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,160 So... 440 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,440 Je m'appelle Ro...bin. Je m'appelle... 441 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,560 I'm just saying, Mastermind could still work. 442 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,160 We just need to ditch the specialist subject round 443 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,880 and then each pitch in with a couple of easy questions 444 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,480 all about our own eras and interests. 445 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,080 And then I think between us, 446 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,640 we'd have a pretty rad general knowledge round. 447 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,240 But I won't know anything about events that happened 448 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,800 when you were alive. I'd been dead for decades. 449 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,600 Oh, yes. Hmm. 450 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,160 So it might work 451 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:34,200 if we asked questions to someone from now. 452 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,280 Yeah. So it's just... It's just this way. 453 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:39,520 Oh! Merci! 454 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,920 Merci. Thank you. 455 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,680 Alison, can we borrow you for two minutes? 456 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,160 Literally two minutes. I'm actually quite busy, Pat. 457 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,920 that is a full-on horse wee. 458 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,840 So, trust me, we've got time. Please. 459 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,120 Two minutes. 460 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,000 Quoi? 461 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,240 OK. OK. Got it. Quick as you can. 462 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,320 Right. Two minutes on general knowledge, 463 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,720 and your time starts... 464 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,040 ..now! What type of aircraft flew alongside 465 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,360 the famous Spitfire in the Battle of Britain? 466 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,560 Alison? 467 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:23,040 Danny DeVito. 468 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:26,600 Egg. Eggs. 469 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,680 Cheddar Gorge. 470 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,000 1903? 471 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,000 The metric system. 472 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,600 A toenail? 473 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,280 Um... Bananarama. 474 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,160 Que se passe-t-il avec ces gens? 475 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:46,520 A wedge of lime? 476 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:48,880 Um... 477 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:56,080 And ma femme and moi... could run it all for you. 478 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,440 Vous. Pour vous. 479 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,960 Ca a l'air de pouvoir marcher. 480 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,400 Is bonne idee. Good? 481 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,200 Oh, OK. Yeah. 482 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,400 With no passes, Alison Cooper, 483 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,040 you scored 12 points, 484 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,360 which, in the absence of any other player, 485 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,160 I suppose makes you our champion. 486 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,000 Oh, bravo. 487 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,680 Well, thanks, guys. Pop my prize in the post. 488 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,120 Oh, yeah. 489 00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:27,800 Oh! Will there be prizes? 490 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,120 Oh, yes. You get a trophy. A big glass one. 491 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:33,920 And on Blankety Blank, you get a chequebook and pen, 492 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,920 and you could win all sorts on Bully. 493 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,040 Yeah. 494 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,560 You could win a caravan or a speedboat 495 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,520 or just a lovely hamper. 496 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:43,680 Oh, all right! 497 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,920 And what would one get in this hamper? 498 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,600 Well, that would depend. 499 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,160 Garion? 500 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,440 Et voila. 501 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,120 Sometimes known as the Envy Martini, 502 00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:00,280 but today let's just call it the Perfect Green. 503 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,520 Ah! Je comprends! Comme au golf! 504 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,160 Golf, yeah. 505 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:05,760 Sante! Ah. 506 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,720 Oh, that's good. 507 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:09,960 Yeah, I can picture it now. 508 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,280 Le golfers stood at le bar. 509 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:14,840 Ordering their Parfait Vert. 510 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,280 Drinking in the tres jolie... 511 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,760 Oh, my God! Sabine, what is it? 512 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,400 What? Allergie aux noix. 513 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,080 Allergy to what? 514 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,360 Mm... Oh, nuts. 515 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,440 Oh, the hazelnut liqueur! 516 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:29,960 Oh, no. 517 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,160 Mes medicaments... 518 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,240 Oh, this is a good learning moment. 519 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,440 Je vous en prie! Mes medicaments! 520 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,280 Oh, I don't know. It's a bit advanced. 521 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:39,440 You got this. 522 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,560 Oh, my God. What did you do? 523 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,120 She's allergic to nuts. Call an ambulance! 524 00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:45,280 Mes medicaments! 525 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,440 M-Medicine? Oui. 526 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,280 Dans la poche de mon sac a main! 527 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,400 What's she saying? I don't know. 528 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,440 I started learning French this morning. 529 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:53,960 Qu'est-ce que c'est la poche? 530 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,120 Oh, Garion. 531 00:25:55,120 --> 00:25:56,720 Poche? Pocket? 532 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,520 Tres bien. Mais ou est la poche? 533 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,200 C'est quoi, un sac a main? 534 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,440 Robin, you speak French? 535 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,200 Un moment, s'il vous plait. Tell me what she's saying. 536 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,880 Sac a main. Robin! 537 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,840 Main sac... Handbag. The medicine's in the pocket of her handbag! 538 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,760 Oui! The medicine's in the pocket of her handbag. 539 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,440 OK. OK. Tres bien! 540 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:13,600 Good. Well done. 541 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,120 I found it. 542 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:16,680 Well done. 543 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,520 Thank you. 544 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,400 Don't thank me. 545 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:23,920 Merci, Sophie. 546 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,880 Merci. Merci beaucoup. 547 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,000 And she said... Yeah. We've got it. 548 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,240 You're welcome. 549 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:37,440 I'm sorry again about the... 550 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,360 Je vous contacterai. 551 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:58,000 She said she will... Be in touch, yeah. 552 00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,640 Yes. Thank you. 553 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,480 Merci. 554 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,160 We'll see you. 555 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,080 Thanks, Robin. Pas de probleme. 556 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:06,840 See? She loves us. She does. 557 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,080 I think a little drink might be in order. 558 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,640 Maybe a cocktail in the bar. 559 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,520 Well, yeah, it'll have to be a lime and soda for me, sadly, 560 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,800 though I could murder a White Russian. 561 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,680 Well done, Pat. 562 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,920 I wasn't sure about this whole game show thing, 563 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,960 but d'you know what, it's been a really welcome change. 564 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:32,040 Now, in my dream Bullseye hamper, 565 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,600 I would have some thick pea soup, 566 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,480 spreadable turkey paste, 567 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,520 a tin of corned beef, 568 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,280 two cubes of meat broth...